Secret lovers and Christmas holidays

Well, we're fast approaching that time of year again.
You know the one I mean, your secret love is out buying gifts for his wife & kids, they are all off at the weekends choosing the family tree, probably enjoying some time at the outdoor ice rink or christmas market and what are you doing?
Most likely sitting moping at home, having miserable thoughts about your secret lover and wishing it was you that he was whisking around all those fun holiday places.
Let's be honest, that's not going to happen is it? So, what do you do to keep your spirits up at this time of year?
Firstly, remember that you are entitled to a life outside this extra marital relationship. He won't be having less fun with the family because he knows you can't join in, so get up off your butt and make some enjoyment for yourself.
If you are totally self centred and self pitying, then you will probably go & splurge on a new outfit, hairdo or massive box of candy.
STOP! Think for a moment ...
You really aren't that selfish person are you?
There are masses of people out there that really do have a miserable Christmas holiday, due to poverty, illness or loneliness. You could be the one that makes a big difference to them this holiday.
You don't have to be loaded to help out at the local homeless shelter or retirement home. One more volunteer can make so much difference to these selfless workers and needy people at this time of year.
Think about your elderly neighbors, who would benefit from even a short visit or just a card this Christmas? Then, guess what, before you know it, the Christmas holiday season will be over, you won't have moped around feeling sorry for yourself and you may have given someone the best present they could have wished for ... a great big smile!
Happy Christmas.
Happy Festivus or whatever you're leaning, have a happy one!
Doesn't look like it will be a white christmas here this year!

Thanksgiving alone

Thanksgiving will soon be here, and it's no fun being withought your lover at this time.
If you have a secret lover, then the chances of you being together at Thanksgiving are probably small.
So, what do you do? Do you sit at home on your own, forcing down the turkey, thinking about what he or she may be doing? Or do you get dressed up & go out and enjoy yourself with family and friends and hope that you will be together soon.
Sitting home alone, moping without your secret lover won't make the day any easier will it? So, better to go out and enjoy yourself and at least take your mind off it.
Before you know it, the Thanksgiving holiday will be over and you will be back to your normal daily routine.
Have a great Thanksgiving.

Valentine's Day for secret lovers

Valentine's day is a very difficult one if you are secret lovers.
You really want to send a Valentine's card, but where is there that you can do this?
If you do have a place, then can you be sure that no one will intercept it & work out who the sender was?
The best thing about Valentine's Day cards though, is that many are sent worldwide with no hint of the sender in side them. If you really feel the need to make it known to your secret lover that the card came from you, then think of some small thing to put inside the card that only you two would recognise, something totally innocent that would never raise a question, but that your lover would spot in an instant.
Valentine's Day is traditionally a hearts and flowers occasion, so go ahead and send that card!

Affairs of the heart

It started with the occasional walk past my desk in the office.
A smile, a wink, the occasional light hearted comment about the weather or work.
It was nice, really nice, and I began to look forward to seeing him striding down the corridor towards me, smiling, confident.
I would quickly pat my hair or adjust my clothes, sit up straight, smile, make eye contact at the same time as him.
After a while, he would come bearing small gifts. A coffee, a sticky bun from the tea trolley, a flower from his garden, and like some inexperienced schoolgirl, I would accept them, blushing and flustered.
If one day he didn't appear, I couldn't concentrate on work, I was constantly glancing along that corridor for any small sign of him, and if by midday he hadn't paid me a visit, my lunch would be a miserable hour spent in the park alone, sandwiches thrown to the ducks.
It was during one of these achingly empty lunch breaks that I realised I had been bitten by the affair of the heart bug.
What would happen next?

My first married affair.

I was so young when I had my first affair. I was also newly married.
This may horrify some people, but the truth is that I shouldn't have married at all.
I was far too young at 19 and far too inexperienced.
Life back then was so different from today and we were all pretty naive, I can tell you.
Any man that spoke kindly to me then, especially if he paid me attention, had my undying devotion!
Sounds mad now doesn't it, but there we have it, totally true.
I met my first lover through work. He was seven years older than me, but he had a way of staring into my eyes as though there was no one else in the room.
I must have been a real pushover, but our secret meetings in his office after hours, were the most exciting I have ever known.
We made love on the carpet, and to this day, I think about the people who visited that room to hold important meetings and never knew what had occurred there the previous evening!
I'm sure that this goes on in millions of offices and stationery cupboards all over the world, but to me, at that time, it was a revelation.
Then, we took it even further....
To be continued.

Married men or batchelors, as lovers?

Which men make the best lovers?
Mmm, difficult one this, but I would say that older, single men aim to please more, but are fully aware that they can drop you without a second thought. They are known in social circles to be available, and generally don't hesitate to string along more than one woman at a time. It's part of the fun of being single & older!
I'm not saying that all batchelors are like this, but you are quite likely to meet a fair few who are exactly like it. If you are as happy, just enjoying the fling, no strings attached, then fine, why worry.
Married men on the other hand are a different matter. They will, in general tend to have an affair with one woman at a time & then when that's finished, move on to the next. A married man who strays, will undoubtedly do so again, and if the affair becomes too serious, they are sure to turn & run... until the next time.
You will never pin a married man down, especially if he has children, and be prepared to sit home alone on all of the big holidays,as that's when he'll be with his wife and family playing the devoted father.
Sure, he'll think about you, sitting at home, eating your thanksgiving dinner or your Christmas cake alone, but not to worry, he'll make it up to you with a gift or a phone call as soon as the holiday's over!
If you are able to send him a romantic greetings card, try here... http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/chezinkflo
So, at the end of the day, it's your choice, be aware of just how many other people you may be hurting by having an affair with a married man, and be aware that your single & forty something male, will quite possibly be casting his net much wider than your pond. It's up to you.

When did I start flirting?

Phew, this is a difficult one to answer.
I suppose it was when I first widened my big blue eyes to a male and got a response that said "I really want you."
Probably when I was about sixteen and didn't realise that I was stirring feelings in him that he might not control.
It also gave me a great sense of power to be able to do this and it became very difficult to stop at the eyes thing. I'm sure that most females would admit, it gives them a buzz to be able to stir feelings in men that they can't control. It probably comes from the fact that most men like to take control of everything & everyone from a very early age.
The first boy that fell under my spell, lived a bus ride away from me & one Sunday, he asked me to his parents house for a visit.
All the way there on the bus, there was a tension between us that I had never felt before, and it left me wondering, was this love, lust, nerves? Whatever, I had never experienced the feeling before and I had no idea of what was to follow at the end of the bus ride.





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