Secret love in old age?

Is secret love frowned upon in old age?
When do we become old?
I don't think there is an age at which we think of ourselves as old. We always think of ourselves as young and attractive. It's only when we look in a mirror that we realise we are not that person any more.
But wait, what if inside, we are still that person? Does that mean we can't feel attraction for the opposite sex any more?
I think not, people of all ages should be able to enjoy sexual and passionate feelings for another human being, whether it be of the opposite sex, or of the same sex.
We are only on this earth but once as far as I can tell, so to anyone over the age of 60, who is looking for a new love, secret or otherwise, good luck and I hope you find the sexual happiness you deserve.

Father's Day Lovers

Sounds harsh I know, but there will be millions of heartbroken mistresses all over the US on June 17th, and the reason?
Well, it's Father's Day and the family will quite rightly be expecting him to be at home and play with the kids all day.
Sad though it is, reality hits home on days like these and the thought of what he's doing will almost certainly hurt.
The best advice I can give, is just get yourself out on that day and go do or see something that will really take your mind off things.
Why not try volunteering to help others?
There's nothing like seeing how badly off other people are for putting your own life into perspective.
Give it a go, I'm sure you'll feel better for it.

Easter loneliness?

Well, did you get a nice big chocolate egg or a massive bunch of flowers, or even just a card from your secret lover this Easter?
If you did, then he was obviously thinking about you... or maybe he was feeling a bit guilty about not being with you?
Either way, you were not forgotten, & I bet there are millions of people in the world that had no-one to remember them at all.
Hope you had a lovely Easter whatever you did, bet all the chocolate has been long eaten though!

Get a grip ... now!

Ok, tough love may be what's needed today.
You are feeling down, depressed, you can't have the love of your life, they belong to another, you're miserable, moping around, feeling sorry for yourself.
Ah, what a shame.
NO IT ISN'T!
Time for some tough talking here, you are a person, a lovely person, you have a life, you could have a much better one if it weren't for all the moping around you are doing right now.
Be selfish today, get yourself out & about in the world, talk to people, smile, eat, treat yourself to something nice & have some self worth.
You only get one life, start enjoying it today.

How to say goodbye.

We all know full well, when the time has come to say goodbye to that secret love.
All sorts of things intervene in a clandestine relationship to put pressure on it, and eventually, it becomes unbearable. Life is miserable, and it's time to move on.
So, how to say thank you & goodbye may not really convey your true feelings.
An email, well that's downright cruel, unless you hate the person so much, you don't care about upsetting them even more.
By far the best thing in my opinion, is to go out somewhere quiet & peaceful. A park, river bank picnic, or a long walk in the countryside. This way, you can say your goodbyes calmly and with a good explanation.
Once you're done explaining & it's time to walk away, you could give them a card with some nice words in to say what a great time you've had with them. Let them down gently & with some dignity.
More than that, leave your secret lover with nice memories of parting, not those harsh words that never heal in the mind.

Love Hurts

Don't let anyone tell you that love never hurts ... because it does!
It hurts when you are apart, it hurts when you know they are with someone else, it hurts that you can't be together all of the time.
Sadly, there's no pill that you can take to ease the pain.
The best remedy is to stay occupied. Work harder, take up a hobby, get out more, widen your circle of friends, get gardening, cycling, cooking, anything to take your mind off the hurt you're feeling.
It will all seem better tomorrow.

Valentine's Day & secret lovers

How was your Valentine's Day?
Did you get a big bunch of red roses,chocolates or perhaps just a card from your secret lover?
Lovers are usually far more attentive, thoughtful & will be ready to spoil you at the drop of a hat. That's what makes a secret love so exciting, and long after Valentine's Day has gone, you will have the memory of that special gift that know one else knew about.
Did anyone propose?

I have my love to keep me warm!

Well, you know the words of the old song don't you.
At present, we are deep in snow here & it's tough getting out on foot, let alone in the car.
Secret liaisons with secret lovers are doubly difficult at this time of year.
Worse still, if you made the date before the snowfall & now can't get to the rendezvous, you must be throwing things at the wall!
So, why not take the time to compose a letter to your secret lover. Write down all the things you have wanted to say, but never dared. Don't be too mushy about it, just be plain honest about your feelings.
It will help get your own head sorted about the relationship & your lover might be surprised about the depth of your feelings. They might even dare to reveal there own!
Spring is around the corner, so chin up, get your letter written, even if you never give it to them.
Have a good week.
Inkflo

How are you feeling?

I would like to wish you a Happy New Year, but I sort of think you might not be feeling much like celebrating the New Year if you've been alone and without the company of your secret love for a while.
It's been hard, I know, everyone is full of the festive spirit and bonhomie, whilst you have been sitting around gorging on anything that will fill your need for comfort and warmth.
Still, it's a New Year and a time for you to consider what may lie ahead in 2012.
Firstly, do you want to carry on with this secret love affair and it's dangerous liaisons?
If you answer yes, then you will be hoping no doubt for more time and better quality time with your secret lover.
You might also be reflecting on the heartache, loneliness and just darned inconvenience of this relationship. Is it really a fair match or in truth, is it all one sided and not on yours either!
Whatever you decide, I will just say one thing.
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
It's your life and you only get one go at it.
Good luck with your decision, I hope 2012 will bring you health and happiness.
Take Care.

Secret lovers and Christmas holidays

Well, we're fast approaching that time of year again.
You know the one I mean, your secret love is out buying gifts for his wife & kids, they are all off at the weekends choosing the family tree, probably enjoying some time at the outdoor ice rink or christmas market and what are you doing?
Most likely sitting moping at home, having miserable thoughts about your secret lover and wishing it was you that he was whisking around all those fun holiday places.
Let's be honest, that's not going to happen is it? So, what do you do to keep your spirits up at this time of year?
Firstly, remember that you are entitled to a life outside this extra marital relationship. He won't be having less fun with the family because he knows you can't join in, so get up off your butt and make some enjoyment for yourself.
If you are totally self centred and self pitying, then you will probably go & splurge on a new outfit, hairdo or massive box of candy.
STOP! Think for a moment ...
You really aren't that selfish person are you?
There are masses of people out there that really do have a miserable Christmas holiday, due to poverty, illness or loneliness. You could be the one that makes a big difference to them this holiday.
You don't have to be loaded to help out at the local homeless shelter or retirement home. One more volunteer can make so much difference to these selfless workers and needy people at this time of year.
Think about your elderly neighbors, who would benefit from even a short visit or just a card this Christmas? Then, guess what, before you know it, the Christmas holiday season will be over, you won't have moped around feeling sorry for yourself and you may have given someone the best present they could have wished for ... a great big smile!
Happy Christmas.
Happy Festivus or whatever you're leaning, have a happy one!
Doesn't look like it will be a white christmas here this year!

Thanksgiving alone

Thanksgiving will soon be here, and it's no fun being withought your lover at this time.
If you have a secret lover, then the chances of you being together at Thanksgiving are probably small.
So, what do you do? Do you sit at home on your own, forcing down the turkey, thinking about what he or she may be doing? Or do you get dressed up & go out and enjoy yourself with family and friends and hope that you will be together soon.
Sitting home alone, moping without your secret lover won't make the day any easier will it? So, better to go out and enjoy yourself and at least take your mind off it.
Before you know it, the Thanksgiving holiday will be over and you will be back to your normal daily routine.
Have a great Thanksgiving.

Valentine's Day for secret lovers

Valentine's day is a very difficult one if you are secret lovers.
You really want to send a Valentine's card, but where is there that you can do this?
If you do have a place, then can you be sure that no one will intercept it & work out who the sender was?
The best thing about Valentine's Day cards though, is that many are sent worldwide with no hint of the sender in side them. If you really feel the need to make it known to your secret lover that the card came from you, then think of some small thing to put inside the card that only you two would recognise, something totally innocent that would never raise a question, but that your lover would spot in an instant.
Valentine's Day is traditionally a hearts and flowers occasion, so go ahead and send that card!

Affairs of the heart

It started with the occasional walk past my desk in the office.
A smile, a wink, the occasional light hearted comment about the weather or work.
It was nice, really nice, and I began to look forward to seeing him striding down the corridor towards me, smiling, confident.
I would quickly pat my hair or adjust my clothes, sit up straight, smile, make eye contact at the same time as him.
After a while, he would come bearing small gifts. A coffee, a sticky bun from the tea trolley, a flower from his garden, and like some inexperienced schoolgirl, I would accept them, blushing and flustered.
If one day he didn't appear, I couldn't concentrate on work, I was constantly glancing along that corridor for any small sign of him, and if by midday he hadn't paid me a visit, my lunch would be a miserable hour spent in the park alone, sandwiches thrown to the ducks.
It was during one of these achingly empty lunch breaks that I realised I had been bitten by the affair of the heart bug.
What would happen next?

My first married affair.

I was so young when I had my first affair. I was also newly married.
This may horrify some people, but the truth is that I shouldn't have married at all.
I was far too young at 19 and far too inexperienced.
Life back then was so different from today and we were all pretty naive, I can tell you.
Any man that spoke kindly to me then, especially if he paid me attention, had my undying devotion!
Sounds mad now doesn't it, but there we have it, totally true.
I met my first lover through work. He was seven years older than me, but he had a way of staring into my eyes as though there was no one else in the room.
I must have been a real pushover, but our secret meetings in his office after hours, were the most exciting I have ever known.
We made love on the carpet, and to this day, I think about the people who visited that room to hold important meetings and never knew what had occurred there the previous evening!
I'm sure that this goes on in millions of offices and stationery cupboards all over the world, but to me, at that time, it was a revelation.
Then, we took it even further....
To be continued.

Married men or batchelors, as lovers?

Which men make the best lovers?
Mmm, difficult one this, but I would say that older, single men aim to please more, but are fully aware that they can drop you without a second thought. They are known in social circles to be available, and generally don't hesitate to string along more than one woman at a time. It's part of the fun of being single & older!
I'm not saying that all batchelors are like this, but you are quite likely to meet a fair few who are exactly like it. If you are as happy, just enjoying the fling, no strings attached, then fine, why worry.
Married men on the other hand are a different matter. They will, in general tend to have an affair with one woman at a time & then when that's finished, move on to the next. A married man who strays, will undoubtedly do so again, and if the affair becomes too serious, they are sure to turn & run... until the next time.
You will never pin a married man down, especially if he has children, and be prepared to sit home alone on all of the big holidays,as that's when he'll be with his wife and family playing the devoted father.
Sure, he'll think about you, sitting at home, eating your thanksgiving dinner or your Christmas cake alone, but not to worry, he'll make it up to you with a gift or a phone call as soon as the holiday's over!
If you are able to send him a romantic greetings card, try here... http://www.greetingcarduniverse.com/chezinkflo
So, at the end of the day, it's your choice, be aware of just how many other people you may be hurting by having an affair with a married man, and be aware that your single & forty something male, will quite possibly be casting his net much wider than your pond. It's up to you.

When did I start flirting?

Phew, this is a difficult one to answer.
I suppose it was when I first widened my big blue eyes to a male and got a response that said "I really want you."
Probably when I was about sixteen and didn't realise that I was stirring feelings in him that he might not control.
It also gave me a great sense of power to be able to do this and it became very difficult to stop at the eyes thing. I'm sure that most females would admit, it gives them a buzz to be able to stir feelings in men that they can't control. It probably comes from the fact that most men like to take control of everything & everyone from a very early age.
The first boy that fell under my spell, lived a bus ride away from me & one Sunday, he asked me to his parents house for a visit.
All the way there on the bus, there was a tension between us that I had never felt before, and it left me wondering, was this love, lust, nerves? Whatever, I had never experienced the feeling before and I had no idea of what was to follow at the end of the bus ride.





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